Why are we so stressed? Why, borrowing the title from W.H. Auden’s 1947 poem “The Age of Anxiety,” are we so anxious?  

For many of us, the answer is obvious: Along with Dustin Hoffman in the 1967 movie, The Graduate, we’re worried about our future. Will we have jobs? Will we have enough money to pay our bills and take care of our children? Will we stay healthy?

If only we could relax. If only we didn’t worry so much about the future. You already know that worrying about the future only makes you more anxious but, if you’re like many others, you can’t stop yourself from worrying.

Why is this so and what can you do about it? Consider this:

Suppose you are a smoker and, daily, you smoke 20 cigarettes. Let’s further suppose that you inhale 10 times on each cigarette. That means that you are inhaling smoke from cigarettes 200 times per day. In one week alone, you’d be inhaling smoke 1400 times. This is a prescription for addiction.

Now suppose that, instead of inhaling smoke, you inhaled “I’m worried,” 1400 times a week. See yourself bringing a cigarette to your lips and instead of smoke coming out, the words, “I’m worried” are drawn into your mind and body 1400 times per week. Might you be addicted to “I’m worried?”

That, in effect, is what we do every time we worry. As someone once said, “We are what we think, we become what we think and what we think becomes our reality.”

One of the problems is that, while we personally may not inhale “I’m worried,” the culture in which we live does everything it can to get us “addicted” to worry and stress. Doubt it? Go read a newspaper, watch television or listen to the radio.

So what to do? There are some obvious things like take a news break to get away from the culture of worry for awhile. Take the time to exercise because deep breathing is relaxing and brings those endorphins to our bodies to make us feel good. Meditate. And, most importantly, replace the negative self talk that you are “inhaling’ with positive affirmations.

How about getting “addicted” to “I’m powerful.” “I’m prosperous.” I’m relaxed.” “I’m happy and successful.” “I’m self confident.” “I’m…(fill in the blank with your own powerful words).”

At first, when you say these affirmations, they will seem phony to you and you may have a tendency to give it up. But remember the smoking analogy: Smokers don’t become addicted after just a few cigarettes. It takes repeated inhales.

Similarly, it will take awhile to become “addicted” to your positive affirmations. Just keep “inhaling.” And that’s one of the best relaxation techniques I can offer.